The Amazing Power of Adversity and it's Relationship to God

So, if you know me in "real life", you may know a little bit about my past...or not. Long story short, I had a period of time where I was debilitated by addiction. It's old news to me now, but of course, at the time, it was my World. I was talking with a good friend today about how the things in our lives, especially adversity, shaped who we are and made us so much more grateful for the things we have today. And how it seems that unless a person has been tested by adversity, finding gratitude can be very difficult (not impossible), but harder than when you have stared fear in the face and not only flinched, but whimpered, and cried out, and continued forward anyway. (It is not lost on me the humor in how I weathered such a tremendous battle as addiction and yet am still afraid of calling a creditor, but there you have it. Some parts of adulthood are just hard for me.)

I was reading a recent issue of The New Yorker and came across an article about the Book of Job from the Old Testament. I am in no way a religious scholar or frankly even very religious, but I do feel that the idea of "God" is something I can relate to because I have felt the power of grace as surely as I have felt the agony of depression and hopelessness. To me, "God" is simply the human condition which allows us to transcend the brutal realities of life to find beauty and hope. I think "God" is simply the embracing of compassion and justice and goodness. But back to the Book of Job. I have never really liked the whole idea of a God who would so brutally dismantle the life of one of his supposed "beloved creations", nor have I ever really accepted or believed in a God who would kill everyone on his creation but the few who had made it onto an Ark. The idea of such malevolence doesn't jive with my idea an actual Being worthy of praise. But it does make total sense to me if the idea of "God" is the simply the ebb and flow , the struggle of good over evil, of the human condition. So the Book of Job suddenly came to make more sense to me, in that it was about a man who encountered adversity, did not succumb to it, and ended up surviving it and thriving afterwards. Once he had lost everything, he was able to appreciate and be so much more grateful for what he did have. Once you take the "God" out of the story, it really is just about a man who triumphed over the all too common agonies of simply living as a human being. 

Bad things happen to good people. It's life. My friend and I were talking about how it seems to be the encounter with adversity that really presents the opportunity for spiritual and personal growth. I do not think I would even come close to having the depth of character that I feel I do were it not for what I had to overcome in my past. Not just overcome, but embrace and accept about who I was. The point is, the addiction did something to my soul which my soul desperately shied away from. And when my soul finally had enough, it made the decision to never, ever, allow itself to be made to feel that darkness again. The guilt and shame that come with addiction has an absolutely soul killing side effect. And it struck me that life in general presents people with an endless stream of choices whose outcomes either darken or enlighten the soul. It's the choices we make which either darken us, or lighten us. I used to think guilt was just a useless emotion until I realized guilt is the yard stick to measure the choices I make. If I think something is going to make me feel guilty, I try not to do it. I'm trying to protect my soul. I'm trying to embrace God. Who wants to do things which make their soul feel bad?  

Today is Martin Luther King Day. Talk about the epitome of overcoming adversity. Some might disagree seeing as he was, you know, assassinated and all, but his legacy triumphed and continues to be a measure of goodness to which humanity aspires. He showed us that it's not adversity which breaks the man, it's adversity which makes the man. The World needs more people who stand up to, and try to overcome oppression and adversity. We seem to have become a planet of human beings who are so fearful of adversity that we do nothing. We are just...stagnant. And so the things which are soul-killing and evil like greed and intolerance grow stronger because there are ever weakening  forces fighting it. I believe the usefulness of God has lost it's way and become such an all-or-nothing concept due to the dogma of religion that humanity has simply begun to reject any notion that perhaps maybe God is just being good for goodness sakes. Because that's what keeps our souls feeling good. Self-preservation, nothing more. To me, if God is not simply about doing the most good while we're here, embracing our life conflicts and becoming more compassionate instead of more jaded and bitter, then I guess I must be doing it all wrong. But something tells me, and I think my soul would agree, that I'm closer to "God" now having been through the dark times and still come out with a sense of purpose and love and hope. I hope that Dr. King would agree.