Friday, January 20, 2017

Letter to the Men I Love

To my sons; my reasons for everything. I want to tell you something. I want you to get what I'm about to do and I want you to understand why I am doing it. I want you to understand that what I am doing tomorrow is out of LOVE, and I want for that love to be felt by any and all who desire it. A Women's March is not just a march for women. Babies, I march for ALL of you even though you are not women. I march for you because I think that the Patriarchy hurts and diminishes you just as harmfully and gravely as it does to women. It is a man-made construct that labels and divides us, and it is only powerful if we continue to let it be. The three of you are MORE than the mask you will feel pressured to wear. You are already absolute fucking heroes and the bravest of the brave because of what you FEEL, not how tough you are or how manly or strong. Feelings are not for girls only, and they have every bit as much power, actually, WAY more, than any gun or weapon ever created. And tomorrow I march for you.

 I know that you guys understand and get that girls are no weaker, or less, than you three are, as human beings. Sadly, not everyone does believe or understand that. Historically, in fact, for pretty much forever, girls and women have been treated badly by the Patriarchy all around the world and here in America. Marching to express my love for my fellow women, and desire that she be respected, and treated equally, by society, does not negate or lessen the love I have for the men in my life, like you three. Mommy needs to go with lots and lots of other women tomorrow to let the powers-that-be know, we are not going to let anyone treat us badly anymore. We are rejecting the narrative that we are objects, commodities, products. We are the ones who create and nurture life, and tomorrow, we go and ask that those we love and who love us, support and show their love for us. We ask that our men stand with us, in body and in spirit. And for me the most important men I need to do that is you three. As you grow and meet more girls and women, I want you to be prepared to stand up for, and be beside, your friends. And I want to show you exactly what that looks like. The first step is to SHOW UP.

To Klondike, my best friend, protector, and lover. Thank you for supporting me as I claim my power, for taking the helm while I go forth and try to change the world for our sons. Thank you for being secure in yourself and our love to show our sons that both men AND women benefit when equality is realized. Thank you for not even letting me question ONCE if you could handle this part of me.

To my Dad, thank you for being the kind of man who led by example my whole life. Never once in my life did I ever think you'd wanted a son rather than the awesome girls you got. Never once did you make me think I couldn't do something because I was a girl.  Thank you for always respecting my choices, even the ones you totally disagreed with. And thank you for letting your daughters change YOU.

To the rest of the men in my life, be it grade school companions, intellectual competitors, teammates, cousins, uncles, coaches, antagonists, or guardians, co-workers, bosses, exes, strangers in bars, or on the street, teachers who believed in me or didn't.....whatever you were to me that made me who I am today, be it through your love, or harassment, your support, or oppression, your camaraderie, or aggression; that you held me up, or back, or down: excuse me while I join hundreds of thousands of my sisters to strike the match, and burn this mother-fucking Patriarchy to the ground.