Friday, February 6, 2015

All the emotions, all the time.

So, boy...the emotions that have come barreling out of me since I started this alcohol-free stage of life have been, um....strong. Overpowering, unexpected, and frankly, at some times, embarrassing!

I hear a song and boom! Tears a flowin'.

Video on Facebook showing Moms picking their kids up after every fall and then their kid is an Olympic athlete? BOOM, tears.

Take laundry out of the dryer and realize some is still damp? TEARS.

Yell at my son for breaking a glass picture frame? Tears. Freaking-A man, I am a horrible Mom. 

I guess this is all a part of the natural course of events when you remove a numbing crutch from your life. Even though I didn't drink during the day (unless it was Sunday and I had my morning Bloody Mary's) I still new my reward was waiting if I got through the day.

So throughout the day, I really was on auto-pilot. Not much got to me emotionally because I was just on survival mode until the boys' bedtime.

But now, with ALL THE EMOTIONS, I'm also finding myself really more attuned to and aware of my boys and all their thoughts, fears, joys. And over the course of a day they make me laugh, cry, feel like I'm doing everything right, or everything WRONG.

But the point is, I'm finally feeling.

Feeling all the feelings.

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