When I gave birth to my first son, I had recently sort of parted ways with my few close girlfriends, and while I look back at his (we'll call #1 Lucky) first few months with me as a cozy hibernation of sweet milk breath and quiet sleepiness and calm, it was also pretty lonely and soul baring, as I didn't really have anyone to share those moments with besides hubs and he at the time was working out of town during the week, just home on weekends. I remember being utterly in love but utterly despairing that I couldn't share my new found joy with anyone. I live in a pretty small, isolated little town on a mountain, a good 20 minutes from anything. It was the dead of winter.
Alas, my younger sister told me about Facebook. I had previously been on MySpace but in the emotional debacle which did result in my parting ways with a few close girlfriends, I was not anxious to give social media another try. My sister convinced me otherwise, telling me about how only those I wanted to "find" me could. So I went for it. And I am so glad I did. For a stay-at-home first time Mom, Facebook was a lifeline. A way to share my pride and joy, reach out for advice, plan play dates, ooh and aah over other peoples' kids. And a way to find hilarity in the day to day life of having a 8 lb boy completely change everything I thought I knew about raising a human being. Over time, I have found social media to be such an empowering tool.
Flash forward 2 years and #2 arrived. We call him Fireball. Fireball has made me push the limits of sanity in a very, very, good way. The funny thing is, Fireball was the only one we "planned", and he wakes up everyday with one mission: To dash Mommy's "plans" and force flexibility and disorder into my desperate attempts at routine and order. Where Lucky is laid back and easy-going, Fireball is sensitive, passionate, and FIERY. He's also completely beautiful and completely holds the reigns to my heart.
18 months after Fireball, we welcomed our #3, who I'll call "Stealth Ninja", because while he may be a man of few words, and may seem as silent and innocent as an angel, he is already an extreme adrenaline junkie when it comes to his physical abilities. I'll be making something in the kitchen, turn around, and BAM! There's Stealth Ninja on the counter at eye level, clutching the handle of my coffee, ready to pour! Or like last night, Stealth Ninja tried to slide down between the wall and the top bunk to get to his big brothers. Thank god his manly chest was too big and he got stuck before his head and neck made it through!
Add to this one very bad cat, Schmoopy. That's actually his real name. No alias will do for this King of Assholes. We recently put down 2 very geriatric and sweet Pugs. I miss the floor being clean so much.Schmoopy doesn't eat floor food, and in fact shares his own food with our homes mouse population. Douche.
So that briefly describes my household. Hubs works harder than any man I've ever known, gone at 6 am and rarely home in time for dinner. He's a mans man but a big ol softie at the same time. When he is home, his job for the bedtime routine is to read to the boys. While sometimes I'll hear him yelling at them to "Sit Down! Stop That! You want me to keep reading or not!?" I know he loves every second, and so do they.
My days are spent pretty much just like every other stay at home Mom on the planet. Wake, feed, clean, dress, clean, wipe, change, feed, clean, console, referee, feed, yell, laugh, try not to cry, wish for bedtime, wish for nap time, wish for quiet, clean, fold, put away, feed, clean, dress, bed, Facebook, laugh, wine, laugh sleep, repeat. My life is full of other things too, as you will see. I am very concerned about the state of affairs in this Country and on this Planet. I struggle daily with feelings of helplessness and despair, alternating with rage and incredulity. I try to show my boys' that there is no better way than to get involved if you see injustice of any kind. I hope I am able to raise three men who never look the other way.
So, like I said, my kids are not my "whole" life, but I think in a way, they are the catalyst of my life. They are my tools for the betterment of myself and the World I see around me. Most days are a blur to be honest, the combination of their ages, energy, and noise level have a most disorienting effect. But I know I've really only just begun, this is still the "easy" part I suppose. So wish me luck, and tune in as I bring you blow-by-blow details on just
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