Facebook...Time Suck or Lifeline?

Okay, so, I've read and heard a lot of people say that Facebook is full of drama, that it's stupid, that they're barely on it (or, in some cases, they claim to be "barly" on it) that they're going to deactivate their account because it's such a time-suck, that people should keep their negativity to themselves, that they should get off Facebook and spend more time with their kids, etc etc etc....and I just want to say what Facebook means to me, as a Stay-at-Home Mom to three boys under the age of seven. But first, I want to give you a look inside my typical day.

I get up, I get kids up, I made breakfast and pack lunches. I get the kids dressed and change a diaper. I get one kid on the bus and break up a marathon long squabble between the other two. I put away dishes and start a load of laundry. I maybe remember to brush my teeth and I make a cup of coffee. If I forgot to brush my teeth, the first sip of coffee reminds me to. I take out whatever ingredients I need for dinner to thaw in the sink, and then I log into Facebook. It's true! From almost the very moment I wake up, I am on Facebook! The shame! The horror! My poor, neglected children!

I check in with my friends and family on Facebook, post some news or tidbits I find interesting, comment or "like" friends pics or posts, then I get up and go to the bathroom. While I'm there I realize I need to clean the toilet, so I do that, and while I'm doing that I figure I might as well clean the sink and counter too. One or both of the boys now declares they need more juice or a snack, so I pour or make them their requests. In between, I remind them to use their manners and break up another fight. Maybe a Time-Out happens. I finish my coffee...it's cold.

As I walk back in the kitchen to make another cup of coffee (coffee and life goes hand in hand for the Stay-at-Home Mom) I see all the crap under the boys bed and holler at one of them to come clean it up. I make my coffee and realize it's probably just easier for me to do it. After that I straighten up their beds and fold blankets. I said, I FOLD MOTHER FUCKING BLANKETS, PEOPLE!! See? I DO shit.

Then I take my coffee back to my computer and see that a dear friend just lost her Mom to Cancer. My heart stops and I quickly send her a personal message telling her how much her Mom meant to me, how I had so many good memories of her, and if she could, would she let me know when the service will be, because I definitely want to be there. I finish my coffee...it's cold.

I sit there slumped in my chair for a few minutes, tears stinging my eyes, stunned. I'm so sad for my friend and her family, and I start thinking back to when my own Mom died. One of the boys suddenly hurts himself and I pick him up and bring him to the bathroom where I administer the appropriate band-aid and kisses. And I'm off on another task, because man, this medicine cabinet is a disaster, and shouldn't I have already locked away all dangerous meds by now? Bad Mom!!

I switch the laundry over when I'm done with that and get the two boys to eat some lunch, anything but Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which seems to have taken over their palates as of late. I start a bread dough, and set it by the pellet stove to rise. I hop back on Facebook and express my sadness over my friend on my page. I share some memories of her, and others share theirs. It's sweet and sad, but it's genuine feelings being felt, and it's cathartic. I clean up lunch and get #2 son ready for his van to Pre-School. I realize he had an accident yesterday at school and I throw the wet clothes in the washer to wait for the next load and pack him a new dry change of clothes. He starts acting up and whining that he doesn't want to go to school, he says last minute he wants to bring a toy, his driver is already beeping in the driveway. We scramble about for a small enough toy, and I drag him out the door and buckle him in to the van. Bye, Fireball!

By now it's noon, and time for #3's nap. I get him some water in a sippy cup, grab his blankly, put him up on the top bunk, take down the ladder, turn on the sound machine, and blow him kisses as I shut the door. He either cries or he doesn't. It doesn't matter, he needs a nap.

I walk back through the laundry room and realize the dryer is done. I heave out the mammoth pile of clothes, consider just leaving them, realize how hangry I am (you know what hangry is, right? It's being suddenly irritable because you're hungry, so it makes you angry, hence, "hangry") so I go finish off the remnants of the boys sandwiches or mac n cheese from lunch. I'm preventing waste, cleaning, AND self-caring all at the same time. Talk about multitasking!

 I go back to the laundry, knowing if I leave it for later I'll just be pissed that I did, so I fold it and put it away. I go back to Facebook, read a few more articles, read a book review that makes me add another book to my Kindle, post a couple more pics or whatever, message a friend about a possible play-date later, and log out. It's my naptime too.

An hour goes by too quick and I hear Stealth Ninja calling from his room. I go get him, change his wet diaper and clothes...and blankets and sheets. I throw the added laundry in the washer and start the load. I set Ninja up with some books in the family room and do a quick toy pick-up and vacuum. Holy crap, it's only been a day, how the fuck did all this crap get on the floor? I see a sticky spill and grab some wipes and clean it up. While I have the wipes in my hands I decide I might as well dust the whole family room and give the TV a good wipe while I'm at it. I wonder how on Earth my kids got all those finger and hand prints all over it...were they playing Patty-Cake with it or something? Jeez. I finish up and sit down with Ninja. He hands me "Little Blue Truck" and I read it for the 538th time.

I look at my calender and see that I've written something down on the 26th, put a star around it, and I have NO IDEA what it says. My hurried handwriting is indecipherable. I take a pic and post it on Facebook, asking for help in reading it. Yes. It's come to that. I can't read my own handwriting because I was probably holding the baby or blocking a Nerf football or something while I wrote it. I'm slightly panicked because I know that if I put a star around it, I know it's something important, and with my Mom-Brain lately, I've been forgetting really important appointments and I feel like a fool when I do.

I go start dinner and Fireball and Lucky both get home from school at 3:30. I make them afternoon snacks and it's their allotted TV time. .............................. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Yeah RIGHT! LMAO that TV has been on CPTV all damned day long. I'm sorry. I know it's not good for them. I'm a bad Mom, remember? I'm on Facebook all day and my kids are parked in front of the TV, and if they bother me in the middle of Words With Friends I'm gonna decapitate them.

The washer beeps and I put the wet stuff in the dryer. I field a phone call from Lucky's teacher, who's calling to say Lucky won a school-wide writing award! All that TV must have really worked! I'm so proud I have a lump in my throat, but I have to keep it a secret because he'll be getting the award at the next days' assembly. I go in my bedroom, close the door, and call Klondike to let him know we're raising the next Ernest Hemingway. He's equally proud, but regrets to tell me he's working late, past the boys bedtime. I nix my previous dinner plans and decide to ask Lucky what his favorite dinner would be, just because. He asks for Chicken nuggets. I decide to make a special dessert too, so I mix up a chocolate Lava Cake in my Pampered Chef deep baker. In between all this, yes, I admit, I'm back on Facebook to brag about Lucky and gloat over my suddenly super lazy and easy dinner plans.

I check back on my calender pic and my friend realized what I wrote down was "Scarlett Lewis, 7pm". Scarlett Lewis is a Sandy Hook Mom, and she's speaking at a nearby Church on the 26th. I had written it down because even though I know it's going to be a terribly hard thing to hear, my soul tells me I have to be there. I just can't even...the thought of what happened, happening again. I have to hear from her how she continues going on. I have to know because if it ever happened to me, I don't know if I could. I knew about this event because of FACEBOOK events! Thank you Facebook!

Dinner's ready when "Wild Kratz" is over, 6pm. Yep, I schedule meals around CPTV's line up. Dinner is for once heartily enjoyed by the boys and dessert is a hit. But the chocolate is everywhere so I realize I guess it's gonna be a bath night. I go start the tubby and see the bath toys are still in the tub from a couple days ago. Because the Good Lord knows, putting them away is pointless when I know there's a much greater likelihood of the boys getting bathed than me getting showered. Sorry, is that TMI? When it comes to showering, I'm on a "only if I really really have to" basis. Because, at this point in my motherhood journey, it's more of a chore than a necessity. It is what it is. Anyway, leaving the toys in the tub is less work for me, so it's win-win!

As the tub is filling I clean up the dinner dishes and start the dishwasher. Wipe down my sink and give the boys a bath. I get them out, in their pajamas, teeth brushed. I sing the songs, I kiss the mouths and foreheads. I put on a Harry Potter book-on-tape (because it's Daddy's job to read books, and if he's not home for bedtime, sorry, this Mama's beat) and close the door. Grab the wine, get back on Facebook. Read up on some more memories of my dear friend who passed. Decide I'm going to enter a chili in her honor at this weekend's Chili Cook Off at Bethany Lutheran Church. I putter around the family room, putting more toys away, straighten the couch cushions, sit back down, share some more mindless stuff on Facebook, check my events, rsvp to a couple of friends' upcoming Stella and Dot and Lia Sophia parties, and log off.


So, that's just a typical day here. Yes, I am "on" Facebook all day. Are my kids ignored? Only so much as an army of pee-soaked, grape-jelly covered, hungry, emotional, needy, loud, interactive, wild, funny, and loved clown gorillas could be ignored. So what. I love Facebook. It keeps me connected to my life beyond this house. I get ideas for recipes, activities for my boys, invitations to things I wouldn't otherwise know about. I share and am shared with. I laugh and cry through Facebook. I find out what's going on with family and Friends. I can't for the life of me understand why some people have to begrudge me that.

"Get off Facebook and spend time with your kids". That's the comment that started this blog today. Can't they see that that's exactly what I do, all day, every day? I am home with my kids. I am playing with them, I am reading to and with them, I am feeding, cleaning, and caring for them all day, every day. And when I want to? I'm on Facebook. Because Facebook is a part of my life that I truly do cherish. Excuse me for that. Or don't. If you are "barly" on Facebook, why does it bother you if someone else is?